Today Hummus Brother came home after finishing his first year at Michigan (woo!) and promptly got attacked by his own personal Michigan cheerleader.

  Her feet aren't even touching the ground.

My dad told me in the original legend of Mulan, the story ends with her winning the war and her parents being really excited for her homecoming.  Her parents then order her brother to butcher her dog for her welcome home supper.

In reality, it was probably a big ugly dog, since in Ancient China, dogs were often treated like livestock, but now when I imagine it, I imagine Mulan eating Mika.

I wish they had put that in end of the Disney movie.  All the little kids would've been stunned.