"Just come out so we can talk. Or sing about it." -Glee

[warning: rant ahead]

I guess this is an issue that has bugged me for the last 5 years, whether or not I should go be a choral music teacher.

When I was seventeen, I was positive that it was what I wanted to do. I believed in just following your dreams and you would achieve happiness. When I went to sing in a choir for a weekend with some of the best vocalists in the country, the conductor told us, "Don't pursue a career in music if you can see yourself doing something else. Only pursue music if you know you can't possibly be happy doing anything else." At that moment, I had a moment of realization, that this was what I wanted to do, and I couldn't possibly be happy doing anything else. I thought the only thing holding me back was the disapproval of my Asian parents and the oh-so-dramatic threat of being disowned.

At twenty two, having gotten a music degree from one of the top music schools in the country has been a reality check and not in a positive way. I wasn't, and am not, really all that good. Stability was more important to me than I first realized. Some things I really like about my current job are the fact that it's stable, I don't have to work ridiculous hours or be stressed out, and I can basically relocate to any city I want to. If I were a music teacher, it would not be nearly as flexible, if I were to even be lucky enough to get a job. There is usually only one choir teacher per school, as opposed to 10 math positions. My parents should seriously disown me. And honestly? I'm not cut out to struggle. I've never had to worry about money. It's not the same example, but I look at the kids who went to excellent schools in hopes of being on Broadway or in opera, and are singing on cruise ships and theme parks and Italian restaurants. While for many successful singers, that is the first step, I would want to skip that step. If I had to fly myself to ten job interviews, would I still want to keep going? Am I idealistic/optimistic enough to pursue something like this?

A friend asked me if I felt trapped when I think about and prepare to apply for a masters in finance. I don't know if I feel trapped, but it feels wrong. And yet, if I was disowned and unemployed, or disowned and teaching part time in the middle of nowhere Nebraska (not to diss Nebraska, but I am anti-driving-more-than-25-minutes-to-get-to-the-nearest-airport), would I be happy? I really don't know the answer to that.

To end this rant on a light note (credit to..whatever google site I stole this from)

La LA LA!!!